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Collective Tale 2
Collective Tale 2 is a remake of FuriousHedgehog's earlier Collective Tale started by Technochips shortly after the #shameless-chamber Chronicles was finished. It has all of the same rules, but an ever so slightly different player-base. It's also way worse. Note that paragraph breaks have been added to the below compilation. Abridged Version Page 1 3 mouse bones magically come to life and use a magical artifact called the Boot-leg to make a bootleg rainstorm, so the witches of Luna Nova commission Akko, Lotte and Sucy (from the anime Little With Academia) to destroy the Boot-leg, but Lotte doesn't go. The world then gets stuck in a time loop because I LÖVE LUA forgot how to play the game properly. After a couple time loops, a random blast of time-travelling magic causes Akko to be sent to another planet millions of years in the past. Page 2 On the foreign planet, Akko battles Jorichi and wins. Then a magical time-portal appears in front of her. It takes her to a theater showing Tremors, but with all the horses mysteriously absent. This freaks Akko out, so she calls a taxi to get away. Then another person gets into the taxi and initiates a cliché taxi pursuit scene. Eventually, Akko gets out of the taxi. She then goes to the middle of nowhere and plays [[Portal (Game)|the Portal series]] for the first time. Page 1 A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Villager103's super amazing and sexy inkling OC (that definitely isn't a Mary Sue) and seventy three mouse bones started levitating into a cloud. The bones then started killing each other off until there were only 3 left. Because fuck, do you think Collective Tale is going to keep track of 73 things at once? The three remaining bones then all signed a truce and died again. A rad writer named Lucas George witnessed this touching story and decided to make a movie about it called "Boner War", which is two hours of bones in space killing each other. After its release, the movie got a lot of feedback. Some was good, some was bad. But it was mainly mediocre; it just didn't captivate the critics or au (which, for those who don't know, "au" is the periodic table element for gold) But then, the 3 bones that died last came back to life and started killing everyone. Meanwhile on Earth, it was a nice, sunny day and people were happy people were planning to go to the beach as people starting packing their stuff to go there, eventually the clouds turned dark It started to rain. People complained "Nooooo, we can't go to the beach :(". If only they knew that they could say :( in their speech. Meanwhile some witches were studying magic on Luna Nova, the new moon. Their goal was to hunt down and destroy seven Grand Relics: magical artifacts of immensely inaccurate mirror-like qualities. When their powers are combined, they possess the ability to clone anything (not perfectly, mind you, but you can probably see the appeal anyway). They already found 6 of them, but the hardest one was still to find; a pirate leg in it's boot, called the Boot-leg, and some asshole bones were using it to make bootleg rain over Earth. The witches of Luna Nova were kind of aware of that, in the mission of the Boot-leg finding, three witches called Akko, Lotte and Sucy were commissioned for that. However, before they started Lotte was mistaken for a latte, so she couldn't go. Akko and Sucy used their broomsticks to fly to where the 3 mouse bones had been using the Boot-leg. At the confusing sight of inanimate objects apparently using the magical artifact, Sucy said, "Oh, yeah, some mouse bones did it. Yeah, that makes sense! I mean, it was so obvious! Duh!" Akko then moved closer to the artifact, until she was stopped by a random used rocket stage that slammed into her and altered her orbital trajectory. They're all in space, don't you know? a giant "A new BroomOs update is available" screen, locking them in place (because yeah, it's 2017, you'd think witch broomsticks would not be connected to the cloud?). Two choices were offered to them, either upgrade and wait a looooo...oong time, or an invisible wall extending upwards infinitely. Akko then realized that she was stuck in some sort of Groundhog's Day-style loop, and the only way out was to her own thought process. "How am I supposed to get out of a time loop when the narration can't even finish-" a sudden torrent of Boot-leg water. "two fucking sentences!" she finished, "Hang on." Suddenly Pineapples a random magic spell that was cast into space. Coincidentally, this spell solved her time loop conundrum... because it transported her several million years before the loop's beginning. Additionally, Akko was treated to a bright flash of light. Akko was, of course, in a completely different location now (relative to the place she was before, due to the movement of things in space). Her new location just so happened to be within the breathable atmosphere of a planet which the surface is made of nasty, unthinkable, thorny vines. She touched down on a small patch of uncovered dirt about 10 meters in diameter, and began to rest. Meanwhile, Sucy got transported 1042 years into the future in the Black Hole Era after the loop somehow stopped, where the only remaining stellar objects are black holes that slowly evaporates, which is probably bad. Sucy now had totally died. I mean, I don't know what were you expecting. Meanwhile, Lotte sighed. On the contrary, she didn't sigh and I don't know why I said that earlier. She fiercely fought the management of Luna Nova, the New Moon, to get them to stop thinking she was a latte so she could join the other 2 witches, but she didn't know she couldn't because of the previously stated events. So instead she decided to learn that both Akko and Sucy had gone missing, and that everyone is about to get stuck in a time loop. After finding this out she caused a resonance cascade in the anti-mass spectrometer and blew everything to smitheroons. On the next loop she just lounged around and played video games about shooting an portal in mayro. Back in the past, Akko got up with a start and said "Aha!". She then opened the developer console and spawned twenty anti-cheating mechanisms to attempt to stop her from using the developer console. Track "コンパクトデロリアン #会員ナンバー01" started playing out of nowhere. Yet to find out, for now is a bottle of..., the most potent weed drink in the universe. ... was given its unconventional name to protect people from its original name, which was horribly misleading. ... was originally called "But it has a weird power, if you drink it, you'll be thrown back to a random point in the past of this story. So, should they drink it or not? Qwerty shows up and drinks all of it at once. I LÖVE LUA is really good at this game. (Yes, that's part of the story now, deal with it.) edit: qwerty why did you do this", though, given that that is an ever clumsier name, many historians argue that its true original name was "fortuendee", coming from the Latin word "fortuna", which means "fortune", "luck" and "chance" according to Google, and may or may not be horribly misleading. Akko thought "why the heck not", and drank it. But then Akko started to become Page 2 worried that it would make her high off her ass, but it seemed to have no effect. She then decided to track down the source of the music. She got on her broomstick to triangulate the signal, and found a dead pigeon in the sacred pit, she went down, and licked the lollipop that she'd been carrying around for a while now. She then bit off the entire candy part and threw the stick on the dead pigeon. She kicked the pigeon out of the way so it fell into the vines, then sat until she came to a realization: It was actually her phone playing the music. She left the dead pigeon, and met Jorichi along the way. She said, "Wait a minute, that was someone calling me!" She picked up her phone, called back the number, and it was Jorichi. "I'm right here, you know." he said over the phone. Akko then felt slightly embarrassed, so she casted prestidigitation on his phone to expose Jorichi as a muggle. Then Jorichi summoned Becky from a bizarrely satanic-looking portal in the ground, and she held her gun really menacingly, like an action hero. In return, Akko summoned a latte. She meant to summon Lotte, but it was too late, she already cast the spell. Not that it would have worked, anyway, since Lotte doesn't exist yet. Jorichi laughed and said "Fool, this is no time for games.", to witch Akko replied "Abrica-fuck you!" and cast the most random spell ever created, Randomtv-playerkaxaaa. Randomised TV appeared. He was shocked, wondering how did he got here. Jorichi, his face pale, shouted "Noo! how could this be?" as RandomizedTV mesmerized Jorichi with the Most Interesting Show In The Universe. He wobbled and wavered, unable to handle such an interesting show, until finally losing balance and bending over backward, falling headfirst into the vines. Becky then disappeared into a bunch of triangles with a really cool particle effect, since Jorichi was no longer channeling the spell. Victory! Akko then realized that she was really hungry for no reason, but the only things nearby were seasoned ground meat and flatbread. She decided that he would ask the TV if he has radio signals. He replied, "Sorry, i'm not picking anything up, so it's local-only, for the moment. By the way, I really gotta get back soon." Akko responded, "Back where?" "Back where I came from. You know, where you summoned me from?" Akko decided that she would kiss Randomised before sending him back where he came from. "EWW LEWD" "What?" "Who writes this crap?" And then RandomizedTV left. But then a piece of paper fell of the sky. On it was written: Akko then remembered how hungry she was. Using only ground beef and flatbread, she quickly made a pumpkin pie ('cause it's almost Halloween). That's impressive when we know it has neither beef nor bread in the recipe. But much less impressive when we know Akko is a witch. However, before she could finish the pie, a magical time-portal appeared in front of her. The strange thing is that it said "Made by Akko," but Akko couldn't remember making it. She grabbed the pie, stepped into it and was taken to the premier of the movie Tremors. She glanced back at the portal, and noticed something strange. Given it's block-lettered font, she didn't notice the "T" in front of the "AKKO". She figured it was just a glitch, and sat down in a seat. She watched the first part of the movie, but then something strange was happening. Each time there should have been a horse in the movie, it wasn't there. The characters acted like they were there and rode through the air with their legs spread out, but for all practical purposes they were invisible. She turned around, and gasped. There were horses in the movie Tremors! And they were freaky ghost horses! She rushed out of the theater towards an infinite wall of infinite fire! She turned back and ran back in, through the ghost horses. She stole a phone from someone and called a taxi. And the taxi appeared in front of her like if calling it was a cheat from a game. She got in the car, and the taxi driver menacingly glanced back and asked "Where are we headed?" "Uhh, just, away from here." Akko replied. "Got it." Suddenly, the song "Running in the 90's" came on as the driver floored the gas, and the tired peeled out. They drifted around a corner just as another person jumped in, pointed towards a car, and shouted "Follow that car!" The taxi driver knew exactly which car to follow (despite the vague directions) and started following the car. Man, this is so cliché. Meanwhile, two people were carrying a big pane of glass across the street to deliver it to a "Big glass pane store". And they made it, because this is occurring in another country. Back to the cliché taxi pursuit scene, they drove through an unrelated big glass pane. The glass was being delivered to a fruit cart, witch they also drove through. Akko then shouted "Straight ahead! I see that car that the other guy was pointing out! Wait, who's that in the car? It looks like a very ginormous pane of glass!" The pane then took a corner too hard and flipped all the way over, so it landed on its wheels and kept going. The taxi driver almost banked the corner like an airplane, then flew off a ramp and landed on an eggplant-shaped doorknob. A scantily-clad woman walked over, unscrewed the doorknob and diddled herself with it, then a giant bee came through the doorknob hole and welp villager's here time to go home everyone yeah i broke the game whatever shut up promptly sung that moment in time, erasing it from existence. Anyway, they landed on a giant pumpkin pie, difficult terrain for any vehicle. Their tires futily spun and spun, kicking up pie filling as the pane of glass drove off. Then, Akko got fed up and jumped out of the car, waiting for a portal to appear, as it usually did for her. 36 minutes later, one appeared. She stuck her head inside and found that it led to a dimension where everyone was Cory Doctorow. She spent some time there, then suddenly disappeared. Where did she go? It was unknown for a few weeks, but eventually Cory Doctrow, Cory Doctrow, and Cory Doctrow found her in the middle of absolutely nowhere, where there's nothing for around 10 miles. Except for a giant neon sign that says "The pie is fake". Akko then thought to herself "Man, this sounds very familiar". Although Akko never actually played Portal, since they didn't have it at Luna Nova Academy. So she started playing it. She liked it so much that she bought the sequel. However, halfway through the conversion gel intro, Gaben appeared and asked for her money. She gave him 333 in Luna currency. Page 3 Gaben was happy because it was 333 money, took it and ran away, without knowing that 333L is very cheap and is equal to about 3 cents. Category:Forum Games